How to Discover & Live Your Core Values (and why it matters)

Ever said yes to something that didn't feel right? Or tried a strategy that felt... off? Like showing up in a way that made you cringe a little? But you did it anyway because someone told you this is what needed to happen or you didn't want to let anyone down?

Chances are, if you had that feeling it was because it rubbed up against your core values — and that inner friction is worth paying attention to.

We hear a lot about "staying true to your values," but let's be honest: are you actually clear on what yours are? (Most people aren't, by the way.) And more importantly — are you using them to guide how you lead, make decisions, and show up?

If not, you're missing the most powerful alignment tool you've got.

Why Values Are Non-Negotiable

Being deeply anchored in your values changes everything. Suddenly, decisions feel easier. Your message sharpens. Your confidence skyrockets. You show up with a sense of purpose that everyone around you feels — and is drawn to.

But when you haven't taken the time to think this through, you'll always be second-guessing yourself. Wondering why you feel unsure. And never truly satisfied with the results.

Let me give you an example: you might create a detailed plan for your next big initiative and jump straight into execution. But if that plan isn't rooted in your values, what worked for someone else probably won't stick — or worse, it might take you in the wrong direction.

It's like installing designer curtains in a house built on a sandy foundation. It looks good on the outside, but it's doomed to fail.

What Are Core Values, Really?

Your core values are the fundamental beliefs and principles that define what matters most to you. They're not aspirational ideals or borrowed words from a corporate mission statement — they're the truths you've lived by, often without realizing it.

Think of them as your internal compass. They're your decision-making GPS, your energetic blueprint, and the invisible filter through which others see you and say, "Yes, I want to hear more."

And science backs this up. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (author of Flow) studied high-performing professionals and found that the happiest, most productive people were those living in alignment with their values — daily.

Why? Because values give purpose to your actions. They make the hard stuff meaningful.

Purpose Is the Destination. Values Are the Steering Wheel.

Let's say your purpose is the destination — it's your "why" for everything you do. Your values determine how you drive and what route you take. Fast lane or scenic route? Solo road trip or full carpool? Your values shape the experience.

You've had them your whole life — even if you haven't named them yet. If you value courage, you've probably made bold moves even when your voice shook. If you value security, chances are you love a solid plan and an airtight calendar.

Spotting the Misalignment

I've worked with many high-achieving clients who came to me feeling disconnected from their message or uneasy about how to step into their next level of leadership. And when we unpacked what they were doing, we quickly identified they'd been trying to adopt strategies designed for someone else. Someone else's values. Someone they're not.

Once they reconnected to their core values, everything clicked. Their confidence returned. Their strategy made sense. Their energy shifted.

Alignment doesn't just feel good — it performs better, too.

Discovering Your Core Values

Start by tuning into what matters most. If you feel unclear, try these reflection points:

1. What energizes you?
2. What triggers you? (Yes, that's often a values clue)
3. How do you spend your time and money?
4. What do the people you most admire value — and why do you resonate with them?
5. What kind of experience do you want in your professional relationships? Do you crave thoughtful communication? Timeliness? Fun and ease? These preferences point to the values that define your unique leadership style.

When you're selecting your core values, think about this as your compass for everything — work and life. They are the ones that are relevant in anything you do, and it can take some thought to really identify them.

It can be tricky because when you look at a long list of values, it can feel like all of them are your core values. Some people worry that if they don't choose 'honesty,' for example, maybe they're saying they're not honest. That's not the case. This is just about honing in on the core values that are most important to you and drive your decisions the most.

I have a values workbook I use with my clients that includes prompts and a comprehensive list to help you uncover yours. Just send me an email if you'd like a copy!

My 5 Core Values

To give you a peek behind the curtain, I thought it might be useful if I share my five core values and what they mean to me:

1. Courage

To me, courage is a conscious commitment to how we show up, speak up, and be seen — even when it's uncomfortable. It's the "feel the fear and do it anyway" kind. It's also what I help my clients cultivate, so they can lead with boldness and authenticity. As Winston Churchill said: "Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."

2. Curiosity

I am endlessly fascinated by people, ideas, and inner growth. If I'm into something, you'll probably find books on it scattered around my house. I love that feeling when you can't stop thinking about something that has sparked your curiosity. Curiosity keeps my work alive, expansive, and inspired. It's how I deepen my coaching and find tremendous joy.

3. Connection

Deeply connected relationships are the reason behind everything I do. Real, kind, heart-centered relationships are everything to me. I believe powerful transformation happens in the presence of deep trust and genuine care — and that's the foundation I build every day.

4. Kindness

Leading with kindness is incredibly important to me. This isn't soft — it's actually the source of the greatest strength. Kindness means delivering excellence with empathy. Holding space with grace. Treating people with respect, whether they're a client, family member, or stranger. As Amelia Earhart said: "A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees."

5. Hope

My deeply held belief is that when we give up hope, we give up our power. In the darkest moments of my life, it's hope that has always pulled me forward. That same hope fuels the way I coach. I hold the vision for what's possible — even when you can't see it yet — and I help you shift from fear to possibility.

These are my five core values — and whenever I'm making a decision in my work, I look at these values and ensure that what I'm doing feels aligned with them. This practice has transformed not only how I run my company, but also how I show up for my clients, my loved ones, and myself each day.

Take Action

When your decisions flow from your core values, you create consistency, build authentic connections, and find deeper fulfillment in your work. I encourage you to take some time this week to identify or revisit your own values. What principles guide your best work? What matters most to you as a leader?

Your journey to alignment begins with clarity about what matters most. Because when you lead with what matters most to you, everything else follows.